The Waiting Game

Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span?

I've never been much for waiting, or patience, or patient waiting. I guess impatient waiting has been the best I could do. Its for that reason I don't like surprises, or at least surprises that I know are coming, namely Christmas and other occasion gifts. I just always like to be in the know or something along those lines. However, when it comes to applying to be an officer in the military, waiting seems to be one of the top requirements. Although Mr. 2nd Lt. has been looking for full time work since "THE DAY" (which is a story for another day!), he didn't really start looking into the military until September-ish, and then we sat around and waited. and waited. and waited. until March just to have God close that door. Although the Army process has been much shorter, waiting still seems to be the name of the game and from what other military families and wives tell me, that won't change even once we're in.

Nevertheless, unlike most prior life situations, I have really felt a lot of peace during this waiting time, rather than the frantic, all consuming worry and panic that usually would accompany a family's lengthy bout with unemployment. I've been mantra-ing Mt 6:34 to myself for years and years, since college really, but apart from pregnancy, I honestly think this is one of the first times I've really felt able to believe it in my heart and not just my head. And really, with the kind of month-to-month, hand-to-mouth living we've been doing around here, its either the Holy Spirit or just plain craziness that have kept me and Mr. 2nd Lt. going. Every time I went to pay bills or balance the checkbook and would wonder where the money would come from, I would mentally shrug it off and remind Him about not worrying about tomorrow (well, him and St. Rita. She and I have this deal, see.... ) and sure enough, something would turn up and things would get paid. Every time I would wonder outloud about maybe I should start looking for work, even though we dearly want for me to be home with Boyo and future kiddos, M.SL would reassure me that it wasn't necessary, just wait a little bit longer. And sure enough, whatdya know!

So now, my new prayer is for this same peace to follow me through the BT, OCS, etc. process, because Mr. 2nd Lt. is truly my partner and best friend and trudging along separate, though parallel, paths is going to be one heavy cross.