Notes

Dear Sister Wives,

Ok. You sold me. I would love a sister wife to clean, cook and take care of my kids so I can rest while I'm sick. It sounds like the most brilliant plan ever.

TTYS,
The First Wife

Ps. Just to clarify though, when the husband gets back, you get the boot.

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Dear Children,

Why did God give you two objects on either side of your head? Because they sure aren't for channeling sound waves into your brain.....


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Dear Army,

Get it together. Figure it out. You suck.

A disgruntled army wife in the land of unknowing

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Dear Nightweaning Child,

Just a heads up - the purpose of not nursing at night is to sleep more. Not just continue to wake up at random intervals for no apparent reason.

Lets get on that, kthanks.

Love,
Your Mama who hasn't slept since January 2010

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Dear Christmas Shopping,

I am powning you.

Ringaling, ringaling,
Advent Happy Lady


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Dear Father,

Thank you so much for your courageous homily against the HHS Mandate. And truly an excellent tie in to "giving unto Caesar what is Caesar's." I take back all my "served in Latin America as a missionary" snide remarks. I'm a jerk and you are excellent.

Humbly and sorrowfully,
a snarky sheep

Ps. Also? Practicing for the new liturgical changes before Advent? *Swoon*

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Dear Christmas Savings Account,

I am so sorry. So terribly sorry.
There's hope though, hon, because the direct deposit will continue.

Kisses,
Big Spender


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Dear Husband,

I hope you didn't want any presents this year. Because I have absolutely no idea what to buy you. Also, woolen anniversary.....

Love,
the wife with plenty of blankets already