Odds and Ends

Dear Tiny Fitted Diapers in the Dresser,

You are adorable and I cannot.wait. to use you again. Here's hoping you fit right away (or at least after a few weeks) and you are as stain resistant as the last time around to preserve your fluffy cuteness. And guess what? As a treat for you, this time around we even have lots of nice wool covers!

Lots of love,
The Mama

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Dear Bible Study at Bragg,

Don't get me wrong - I think you're going to be awesome. Jeff Cavins, Book of Revelation, super nice ladies, delicious snacks, etc. Although, seriously, the AC in that room? Its like a meat locker. But really, I keep a sweatshirt in my car, so no worries.

However. Wouldn't it be nice if mamas with littles could just let them play on the floor in the same room? Some kiddos aren't ready for childcare with strangers where they can't see "the Mama" in the next room (Bible Study in Bowie? Kudos to you for childcare where the kids could play out of earshot but not eye contact. Made for very reassured babies!). Just a thought.

Sincerely,
the New Girl

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Dear Olive Garden,

Get in my mouth.

Pink puffy heart love,
Your biggest fan

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Dear Cervix,

Please remember to open smoothly. And gently. And not for at least four weeks.

Thanks a mil,
The Pain Receptors in My Brain

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Dear Mop,

I'm just going to be frank. I kind of hate you. A lot. Yes, yes, I know it takes 5 minutes to mop the kitchen floor, especially now that I just spray with a cleaner and mop that up with your damp sponge head.

But, you're gross. And I can't get you all the way clean when we're done. And mentally, that five minute mop job is just so daunting. Why do you mock me?

~A Disgruntled Mopper

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Dear Catholic Mama Planner and Chore Schedule,

You. are. the. bomb. I love how organized you make me feel and how accomplished at keeping house, without two pages worth of lists everyday. Thanks for helping this mama be a little more OCD in a totally good way.

<3,
A Catholic Cleaning Mama

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Dear Squats and Other Miserable Exercises,

You suck. Hard core. I know, I know. Its partly the weights' fault too. Whatever. All I'm saying is that my arms better look toned soon.

Or Else.

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Dear Toy Story Writers,

Firstly, I'd like to thank you - I sincerely love your movies. They're cute, well done, heartwarming and chock full of wholesome messages about true friendship, battle buddies, and growing old together.

However, I'm eternally UNGRATEFUL for teaching my son to say shut-up (ala the under the car scene at the gas station [on the way to the Pizza Planet] between Buzz and Woody). Totally uncool. Totally.

Grrrr.


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Dear Husband of 5.5 years,

Thanks for doing a job you don't really like all that much and driving way too far to do it so I can do a job I love.

You're ok,
Wife of 5.5 years