I'm So Thankful...

...that I was fired.

Right, right, I'm so thankful for "not having my contract renewed." Whatever.

The point is, there is nothing quite like the awfulness that is the getting of a phone call in the middle of your maternity leave and after being asked about how your baby is doing and what your plans are for the next academic year, being told that, no, you CAN'T come back, because your "contract isn't being renewed," and no, we are not obligated to tell you WHY, since you aren't technically being fired.

Right.

The other problem, besides the innate awfulness of the above scenario (oh and the having to go back to work for 5 weeks to finish out the school year, knowing you've been fired - can we say "awkward"?), is the fact that I am, what Mr. 2nd Lt. likes to call, "spongey."

sponge * y (spunj ee)
adj.
one who absorbs pain, insults and griefs in a porous manner and then proceeds to repeatedly ooze them back out over a long period of time.

In other words, things don't just roll off my back, and more than that, I tend to repeatedly dwell on them thereafter - as in, bring them back up, talk about them, re-experience them. My dear friend Jane knows what I mean, we've sponged together many a time.

Its all very maschochist. Or perhaps, spiritual self-flagellation? Yea, except that would imply that I was somehow growing spiritually as a result.

And, I haven't been.

Apparently part of my spongey-ness includes recurring dreams (nightmares?) involving the people at work, particularly my boss, and being fired over and over and over again. It also involves thinking that my old boss is actually around the corner every time I see her car, despite the fact that I'm pretty sure even she doesn't hate me enough to follow me to the East Coast from Ca, not to mention her car wouldn't make it that far.

What can I say, I have issues. Really, its all very disturbing how profoundly this has affected me, because in the big scheme of things, who cares?

Thus, this post. In the spirit of gratitude that is Thanksgiving, in the Light of the Spirit that gives us gratitude and in spiritual thankfulness for God's will in my life and whatever crosses He chooses to send me for my betterment and His glorification, I have decided that I am indeed going to be thankful that I was fired.

**I really am thankful I was fired because God forced our hand (Mr. 2nd Lt.'s and mine) about me staying home. Sure, we wanted me to be at home from the very beginning, and as the maternity leave ticked by, we began talking and planning and scheming on how to make it happen. Well, says God (such a jokester, that One!), you want to stay home? Poof. Now you have no job to return to. Problem solved! :)

**I really am thankful I was fired because it allowed me to see yet another loving, supportive and amazing side of my awesome (did I mention "amazing"?) husband. Rather than say, well, shoot, better start looking for something else, he said, Ok, well guess that means its my turn to go to work (He's a writer. So, he does work; its just that getting paid for such work is a different story all together). And, here we are. In the Army. Hooah. :)

**I really am thankful I was fired because I was able to not miss more than a minute of watching my little monkey man grow up. And those minutes I did miss were taken care of by Mr. 2nd Lt. himself (and many of those minutes involved me going home for 2 hours for lunch to see and feed him anyways, because I was done teaching for the day at 10:30 in the morning. Why couldn't I just leave early, you ask? Good question. My mantra was - I can do what I want, because what are they going to do, fire me? Ha! Still makes me chuckle :-p)

**I am thankful that I had the job that I did for those two years, despite how it ended, because I had to teach both the Acts of the Apostles and The Story of a Soul, and I would never have read those amazing, life-changing works if I hadn't had to then turn around and explain them.

**I am thankful for that poopy job because I memorized the 23rd Psalm, the Our Father in Latin and the Memorare while I was there. And now, I can pray them all the time, which is definitely nice.

**I am thankful for that job, even though it exploded in my face, because I was able to share a lot of it with my husband. His flexible schedule allowed him to do many things with me (set up classroom, field trips, etc etc), and whats better than doing something you love with someone you love?

**I am thankful for that job because I learned about the Natural Childbirth Class that we took, which not only made my labour totally doable, but also gave me these wonderful women and their cute little monkeys, who I miss dearly.

**I am eternally grateful for the job that hated me because of the parish that we ended up in once we moved to Pasadena. We plan to return to that community when we are done Army-ing, and I made some friends in that parish that I will have for the rest of my life. And, it introduced me to the wonderful St. Therese, and can't we all use another friend in heaven? :)

**And, I am thankful for that job because of the amazing students that I taught while I was there. I. loved. those. kids.

And, based on how many added me on Facebook the second I left (we weren't allowed to be friends on facebook when I worked there. Why the heck not you ask? Good question), tells me that at least some of them thought I wasn't too bad either! :)

My students, particularly the 7th and 8th graders, were, simply, awesome. Everyone talks about how rough an age it is to teach because, well, hey, do you remember junior high? Ugh.

But these kids, despite the days I wanted to kick some of them, were great. They were funny, they were cute, they were entertaining, they were smart, they were smart aleics, and they were a joy to teach. We played Oregon Trail (cough. I won.), watched Schoolhouse Rock, played Jeopardy, talked about circumcision (oh, man, awkwardest moment of my life), had B for cake, goofed around, learned some stuff, and generally had a great time.

Even with the crazy, insane, certifiably wacko folks that passed for parents in that place, the awful boss, the awful health insurance, the awful firing, and various other petty idiocies, those kids made going to work everyday a pleasure. And man, do I miss them.

Thus, yes, I am thankful I got fired.

And, it feels darn good to say that outloud after all this time.


Dear Lord, I know this to be intellectually true. Please help me to forgive those who have harmed me and to make me grateful in my heart of hearts, as in the example of Your all-forgiving Son. Amen.