If you want to make God laugh...

The ol' blog is getting dusty, isn't it?

Things have been... well...  normal, I guess, which is code for a little bit of crazy pants.  The house is finally done, and we've come and gone for my sister's wedding back East and now we're on the cusp of starting kinder this week for my oldest here at home.

But so much is still up in the air.  Mr. 1st Lt and I had a grand string of plans for our lives, jobs, incomes and resources upon arriving in California - a master plan and numerous back-ups because if there's one thing you learn in the Army, its the need for contingencies.

And, yet, somehow, we're on Plan Q or maybe even X, having by passed A through D sometime in May.  Even, the Reserve component piece isn't going like it should have - involving typical Army snafus of paperwork processing, losing Mr. 1st Lt's *existence* in the Army, including time still owed (good thing he WANTED to come back), travel blahblah and messing up insurance, a school oppotunity and throwing wrenches in when to look for jobs and start some kind of GI sponsored grad school.

Long story short, he's finally in existence again, still no insurance, not looking so hot on the schools, but found a great grad program for hopefully the fall.  And even more hopefully, insurance nonsense will be fixed by Tuesday when we have a 9mo well visit.  Not to mention a certain someone's dental bill.

We're just day by day-ing it, which really isn't the product of deep spiritual wisdom and more a forced circumstance, but still.  Its good for the soul and all.

What has surprised me the most, and perhaps it shouldn't have, it how much I *miss* the Army.  I mean, besides the paycheck (and benefits) (but not the deployments).  I really am feeling a sort of hole where the community aspect of Army living used to be.  Not that Fort Bragg was all unicorns and rainbows by any stretch or even that randomly in the commissary would shoppers join hands, but just a general sense of walking around, knowing everyone sort of was on the same page as you.

Its been an adjustment.  No military housing to call and fix things (no military housing.  sniff.  i miss my closets), no amazing neighbors (which granted isn't a guaranteed military byproduct, just an added bonus), and I find myself getting glazed looks and husbandly eyerolls as I can't seem to help myself continuing to use acronyms that my present company now has no idea to what I am referring.

You know, PCS, MOS, and so on.  The basics.  Nothing crazy and Psy-Op-ish.  Just the norm.  At least to me.

So, yea.  Trying to figure out a new normal.  Trying to make a new community centered not on a generic intangible employer but on a tangible Love - of God, neighbor and self.  Trying to find a new niche in a local homeschooling community that indeed seems very welcoming, but is still all new just the same.

Its funny because in my head, I knew that coming back to California wouldn't really be "coming back" and would be much more of "starting over" but I think my heart was still hoping to slide back into comfortable again.  Four years is a long while and things only *outwardly* look the same.

So yes, the well laid plans of mice and men and such and so forth.  Finding the grace in the struggle, focusing on gratitude for the many, many positives (like walking! to the Farmer's Market! and Trader Joes! and a former student babysitter!), and wishing so many dear ones were just a little bit closer.