Afterall, God entrusted them to you, so He's clearly expecting you to handle the raising of them. Hence why the Catechism (unfortunately) offers no step by step instructions on sleep, discipline and carseats.
Consequently, on a street full of devout Catholic parents, one could walk inside each door and find completely different rules and ways of living, even though the mothers and fathers all start from the same place. I was thinking about this the other day and how I know things are allowed or not allowed in our house that other folks do or do not have problems with.
We do:
Jump on the bed
limit tv/movies to specific amounts
run around naked (more the children. but, sometimes family baths still happen)
wrestle and rough play
let kids come into our bed
keep pencils/crayons/scissors where the big kid can have freely access them
teach our boys to defend themselves (and their little siblings) physically if necessary
We don't:
allow sassing (I mean, it happens. But we don't allow it to pass unpunished)
jump on the couch
make the children share special toys (loveys, etc)
allow helping themselves to snacks
Just to clarify, none of these things are judgement calls on parents who do/don't do them. And none of these things makes me think we're parenting better (well maybe the sassing thing. I mean, at least try to correct your child?). I just noticed the other day, how different things can be from other families.
What about you? What's different in your house from other folks you know?
I let my kids drink soda at restaurants and eat/drink whatever they want at parties (well, except alcohol!). You can not imagine how much grief I have been given for this...as though every day is a party and my kids are allowed to eat chips and candy all the time. Of course it doesn't help when some people (my mother, extended family) tend to see us mainly when we're celebrating something...hence a party. But even friends who see me more often have looked down their noses at me. Of course, then I just think, "Well, at least I don't buy snack junk food EVER." And then I go to confession.
ReplyDeletewe don't allow soda/junk at home either! but yes to restaurants :)
Deleteto most people we're weird for that, but in some of the "crunchier" circles i'm in, we're apt to get stoned if we admit that soda or chickfila crosses our children's lips EVER
I also let my toddler eat whatever he wants at parties (he's underweight anyway so who cares)
ReplyDeleteWe do not have full access to snacks
He doesn't drink juice or soda (side eye from lots of parents for this)
I cut his grapes and most of his other food
He has a later(ish) bedtime, b/c that's what works for our family
We don't leave him overnight and rarely get a babysitter
He is allowed to jump on both the couch and the bed
He isn't allowed to yell, spit, throw toys, step on books or sass.
yes, we haven't left overnight before. my oldest is 4 now and i would just be comfortable leaving with nana or my sister overnight (not that a) we have anywhere to go and 2) its on the table since they're 6 hours away)
Deletebut my younger is only 16 months so i'm NOT comfortable leaving him so... the point is moot :-p
Interesting thought, hmmmm....
ReplyDeleteWe DO also allow physical response to certain children (because if that stinking kid kicks my son one more time *I* may get medieval on him)
We DO NOT teach them the Latin words for certain body parts before they reach the age of discretion. Definitely get judged the most about that one.
We DO NOT joke about dating/marriage for people who are too young to get married, especially if their gonads are still encased in a diaper.
by latin, do you mean english? but i have no problem with "cutesy" names for body parts. vagina just isn't the prettiest word :-p
Deletealso, i HATE joking about dating/marriage with little kids. it truly makes me stabby. its too much with the whole sexualization of children.
Yes, I was thinking Latin derived words--like anus, vagina, etc. :P
DeleteWe've been called militants. Ironically enough, my English bred Grandmother thinks we're too lenient.
ReplyDeleteMy kids are permitted to "argue" with us as long as they use logic, respect and control their emotions, but when we tell them enough is enough, that means to shut it. This, of course, applies only to the kids that have made their First Communion. (That whole "age of reason" thing... we don't believe in negotiating with anyone younger)
Kids go to their rooms at 2030hrs. I don't care the age or tired level. They can read or watch a movie, but no playing, fighting or making noise.
Computer time is severely limited but TV is not however TV is severely monitored, some channels outright banned and the kids all have had to deal with relatives that tell them "No, it's ok, you can watch Spongebob." and the kids will just get up and walk out.
Kids are to deal with their own fights without expecting mom or dad to referee, especially when the fight is piddly. Don't care who their opponent is. Don't use personal attacks or name calling. They are permitted to use self defense as long as they didn't throw the first punch and they most certainly can come to the defense of their sibling.
Respect of property is much more militant for us than others. We don't allow jumping on furniture or running through the house simply because we get SO very irritated when other kids do this in our house and then mouth back with "Well, I can do it in my home!" While we will always recognize that "stuff is stuff and can be replaced", people still have a right to what they own and expect it to not be ruined. Never know how hard they worked to buy that object, or know the sentimental value of an object.
A girls' purse is NOT to be messed with... EVER. I will never promise proper composure of any of my girls if they find a boy snooping through her purse and if he's smacked for it, well, he deserved it.
We honestly do what works for us and as hard as it is for some people to understand, we truly, truly don't care about how others view our parenting. I can get upset when some things are said only because it's clear someone isn't sharing "just" an opinion that differs from ours. kwim? I love hearing how other people do things (because we do have our struggles and something might actually work for us that's different), but otherwise... we just ignore it.
Oh yeah, the purse thing! Bill gets crazy eyes when he sees kids going through my purse and I love him for it.
Delete