Walkin’ Away Washer: A Story of Sketchy Craigslist Appliance Guys

Apparently, in Georgia, many a person runs a business that consists of driving to large warehouses in Atlanta and buying up older model washer/dryers that people have traded in/returned to department stores and Lowes and such, and then “fixing them up,” turning around and selling them to poor military wife schmoes such as myself on Craigslist.

Washer & Dryer #1 – This “almond” set was only $250 on Craigslist, with $40 delivery and installation, 30 day warranty and since I had a budget of $300 (and the original guy I talked to –Tim – wanted $300 for his set, 1 year warranty), I went with them.
I don’t remember their name, since the man who delivered them, Mike, was the fiancée of the daughter of the couple doing the selling. Did you catch that? Exactly. Should have been my first clue, no?

Mike shows up with his buddy (ps. Both of these gentlemen couldn’t have been nicer and more polite people, btw. So I say the following only out of genuine affection. Well, at least, the kind of affection one can feel for people who disrupt the precious naptime for a washer and dryer that ended up leaving by the same way they entered.), and I inwardly crack up because they look like Bert & Ernie – one is very long and thin and the other very round. Heehee.

The other thing that amuses me to no end (and this amuses me pretty much everywhere I go “’round these parts”) is that their accents are so thick I almost ask for subtitles. For the most part, I can understand them when they speak directly to me, but when they are just talking to each other, it is almost a foreign language. Which is funny, of course, since they are supposed to be speaking English. It actually reminds me of listening to people speaking Portuguese as a Spanish speaker – its similar enough that you catch every third or fourth word, and can get a sort of gist of the conversation, but foreign enough that you don’t quite know what’s going on.

So, second sketchy clue – on the phone on his way over, Mike asks me what sort of socket I have to plug the dryer into, because there are different ones and oh, did his fiancée mention that the CORD IS NOT INCLUDED because they don’t include the cords since they don’t know what sorts of sockets people have. Um, excuse me? Your appliance doesn’t include the device used to MAKE IT WORK?

He says, don’t worry, I can pick one up on the way over, they are only $10 or $12 at Lowes, and I mumble something along the lines of whatever. I plan to address this no cord issue and how I’m not paying extra for something that A) Is a necessary part and 2) was never mentioned when I agreed to buy the dryer yesterday.

Third sketchy clue? My first look at the washer & dryer, which are indeed “almond,” leaves me wondering if they were manufactured before or after MY BIRTH. What’s that you say? That was THREE DECADES ago? (No, I’m not thirty! But the 80s were three decades prior to this one :-p) Yes, that is correct. They were OLD. That’s ok, I thought, they’re GE, that’s a good brand, who cares what they look like, as long as they work.

Ahh, Lina. How beautifully simple you are.

Dryer gets hooked up, no problem, turns on, awesome. Washer gets hooked up, whoops, hot and cold backwards, better label them for next time (while labeling I realize, uhh, duhh, they aren’t labeled because hot is ALWAYS on the left and cold on the right – at least, in the North? And the West? Apparently, not in the South?), and then we check the dryer. Uhoh. Its running, but not heating.

Rewind. Remember the plug question? Turns out, I described it wrong, so he brought the wrong kind. How do we solve this problem? He uses plyers to rip the extra ground out of the plug head. Uhh, is that fire safe, I ask? Sure, no problem, its just a ground. Riiight.

Fast forward. Dryer not heating – phone call to “actual seller” – try the breaker, one side of the plug isn’t getting enough juice. By this time, we’ve filled the washer, trying hot, warm and cold (ps. Fort Benning? Could you turn down your water heater’s “hot” setting from “SCALDING, SCARRING FURIOUS BOIL” to “really, really hot”? K, thanks! :-p), its agitating, etc. As we’re trying to figure out the breakers, the spin cycle sets in.

Oh mercy.

The washer starts trying to leave the laundry closet and walk out of the kitchen.

Maybe it was trying to show off its new walking away jeans?

Maybe it was trying to check the clock, since it felt like 4:30, but it was really only 3:30 because of this weekend’s daylight savings?

Whatever the reason, the washer wished to depart. And, honestly, I wanted to wish it well on its journey home.

After another phone call, some mumbles in the direction of the washer is “sliding” around because its on a tile floor (ps. Sliding? Like a smooth, gliding, gentle motion? This washer? Like a furious, bucking bronco with a tack under the saddle!), Mike tells me he can bring me a different, newer washer tomorrow (do I care if it doesn’t match? He asks. (Ha! How bout if it doesn’t work too?) and a new dryer too, although it really was working yesterday when it was tested (he later calls to confirm that it worked again when he got it home. I dunno, maybe its because you BROKE THE PLUG? It kinda needs to work HERE), and I say, sure sounds good.

Then, I spoke to Mr. 2nd Lt.

He is king of the sketch-spotters and pretty much said, no way, no how. So, I called, thanked the Sweet Lord in His Heaven that I got voicemail, and cancelled.

Washer & Dryer #2 - Remember Tim? The original $300 set with 1 year warranty?*

Turns out, he’s totally legit. He’s my sisters age, but legit.

And, with two loads already under my belt, I am now a proud housewife once again.

*ps. The warranty? You can say that you’ll fix anything for free for a year with same or next day service but when you aren’t sears or even a storefront, how in the world do I know you’ll REALLY do that? I’m just sayin…